Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You donβt need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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