I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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