I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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