I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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