What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize