new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I looked at my own cervix.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize