Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
