Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
