we have officially lost it.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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