I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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