it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
