im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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