my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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