I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You're like the curious george of whores
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
