Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
