So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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