so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
