So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
