She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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