people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize