okay pat passed out under dana's car
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
