she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
