so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
