my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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