Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
