just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
