Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Porn is love you can see.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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