a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
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