The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Farmville is her only friend.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
