Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Randomize