my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
