im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
