This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
