Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
