I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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