New low: just hacked my moms facebook
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Sext me about skeletons
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
