Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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