could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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