I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
