nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
