I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize