don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
