Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
