Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
