I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
