bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He? As in you personified your dick?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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