stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
