Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
