yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
