It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
