Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
