the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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