Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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