That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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