I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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