why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
