I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
