Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
