Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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