we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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