i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
