Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
