so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Randomize
