His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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